It's 1:45 in the morning and I can't sleep. All I can do is listen to remixes.
I'm moving into my apartment in 2 days and as I was walking to the bus this morning, I started realizing just how much I'm going to miss living in this little Lyonnais suburb. Here's what, to name only some:
Sleeping in a big bed (the one in the apartment is tiny)
Not having to buy groceries
The cows next door
My bus, whose drivers and passengers I've come to know and love (despite having to walk up and down that enormous hill each time I need to take it, which was quite good exercise anyway)
Not having to pay for internet
Not having to do anything, really
My dirty clothes suddenly being magically clean
Feeling totally safe at night
Didier, with his sly jokes and Santa Claus smile, genuinely interested in having really interesting conversations with me about politics, sports, and culture
Agnes, with her motherly tendencies, love of rap music (and willingness to dance around the living room to it with me), and ability to make all food taste amazing
And Elliot, my own personal rock star, with his Blink 182 music videos, atrociously adorable English speaking French accent, who is truly one of the most considerate people I've ever met, and mature beyond his years
I told Elliot that he has to come over and hang out with me at the apartment. We'll drink beer (I'll stomach it) and bob our heads to the beat.
I think though, that the real reason I can't sleep, has to do with me missing something else: home. I think, if I may take a moment to be introspective and analytical, that I may have been a little over confident in terms of this whole living in France for a year thing. What I mean is, it didn't even cross my mind that this experience would be at all hard for me; I'd already lived abroad before for a long period of time, I already knew what cultural differences were in store, and I even already knew how to speak French pretty well. But you know what... none of that matters. At all. I'm homesick. I miss my family, and I miss my friends. I miss Cafes Yumm and Roma, and Japanese food, and Gordos and Sienna, and the wide variety of restaurants that I took for granted. I miss being able to drive to Target to get basically everything I need. I miss driving. I miss actually having money to spend on everything I need. I miss relatively warm weather. I miss things being less complicated. I miss understanding most things. I miss convenience. I miss feeling completely comfortable. I miss beer pong. I miss Moonbeam. I miss having dance parties in basements.
I am really really happy to be studying abroad in Lyon, France this year. I am having a great time, and it's an incredible experience. But I'm coming to realize that that doesn't mean it's always easy to be here. And sometimes, I wish I could just teleport home. Just for a day. Just for an hour.
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3 comments:
Meg, I love you so much. You are a star, and even if you are homesick now, you're gonna be home before you know it. Also, I'm gonna be in England in almost exactly three months. And so will Nicko and Charlie.
Did you feel the pain of the transportation strike? Or are you staying true to your culture and driving everywhere yourself? ;)
Meeeeggghhhaaannn! I feel you on being homesick. I think we are in the same boat. Not homesick in the way where everything around you now is bad but rather the things back home we take for granted. The diversity of food, dance parties, all of that. I'm staying for the year but your boy is going home for winter break. I'm with Dais, you are going to be home before you know it. That still dont make it any better though
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